Search

Placeholder Content Image

Love is in the air! Pilot proposes to flight attendant girlfriend before take off

<p>A pilot has proposed to his flight attendant girlfriend just minutes before take off in a heart-warming display of love. </p> <p>Polish pilot Konrad Hanc was captured emerging from the cockpit before embarking on a flight to Kraków to make a surprising announcement over the PA system. </p> <p>Hanc introduced himself to the passengers before explaining the real reason for his message. </p> <p>“On today’s flight there is a very special person," he began.</p> <p>“Ladies and gentlemen, about one and a half years ago in this job I met the most wonderful person that completely changed my life."</p> <p>“You are most precious to me. You are my greatest dream come true. This is why I have to ask you a favour, honey."</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6EHHyQskLc/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6EHHyQskLc/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by LOT Polish Airlines (@flylot)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“Will you marry me?” he asked while getting down on one knee, as another flight attendant handed him a bouquet of flowers. </p> <p>His girlfriend, Paula, sprinted up the aisle of the plane before leaping into the arms of her future husband. </p> <p>Passengers watched on in anticipation for her answer with one yelling, “Did she say yes?” to which the beaming captain responded: “She said yes!”</p> <p>Hanc explained that he chose to pop the question on the flight to the Polish city as he met Paula on the same flight just 18 months ago. </p> <p>As the pair embraced in a hug and kiss, passengers erupted in applause, with many taking to the now viral Facebook post to send them well wishes. </p> <p>“I love this! Sweet couple!” one person wrote.</p> <p>”TOTALLYYYYY LOVE IN THE AIR,” another enthusiastic person commented, to which the airline responded: “YES, love IS in the air!”</p> <p><em>Image credits: LOT Polish Airlines</em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

“Love is so sweet": Man's sweet mid-air proposal goes viral

<p>Love is in the air! </p> <p>A smitten passenger took his love to the skies and proposed to his girlfriend while on board an Air Peace flight, with the romantic moment captured on camera. </p> <p>A social media user took to TikTok to share the sweet proposal, with the caption: “POV: My friend was proposed to in a plane.”</p> <p>The minute-long video showed a man getting out of his seat on board the packed plane to use the aircraft’s PA system so that he could ask for his girlfriend’s hand in marriage.</p> <p>“She’s so precious and her name is Precious,” the man said before popping the question. </p> <p> “Please, my Precious, I want to ask, will you marry me?”</p> <p>“If you will, just come out and say ‘yes’ to me, my precious,” he added before walking down the aisle of the aircraft. </p> <p>Other passengers cheered for the couple, and in a second video, the man is seen greeting Precious, then getting down on one knee to offer her the ring.</p> <p>Precious was overjoyed at the proposal and said yes, hugging her new fiance. </p> <p>While it is unclear where the plane was travelling, Air Peace is a Nigerian carrier that operates flights to destinations in West Africa and the Middle East, according to the NY Post. </p> <p>TikTok users were also touched by the romantic act, with many of them congratulating the couple. </p> <p>“This is beautiful,” one wrote. </p> <p>“Love is so sweet for real,” another swooned. </p> <p><em>Images: TikTok</em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Is attachment theory actually important for romantic relationships?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marissa-nivison-1454992">Marissa Nivison</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sheri-madigan-417151">Sheri Madigan</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a></em></p> <p>There has been a recent surge of attention toward attachment theory: from <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL2aW9va/">TikTok videos</a> to <a href="https://quiz.attachmentproject.com/">online quizzes</a> that claim to “assess your attachment style.” It’s become a hot topic, especially in the context of romantic relationships, with <a href="https://medium.com/curious/the-theory-that-explains-all-your-failed-relationships-fb2dc2551617">some articles</a> claiming that one person (or partner’s) attachment styles are the reason why relationships fail.</p> <p>As experts in developmental and clinical psychology focusing on attachment theory, we seek to provide an accessible resource to better understand the science of attachment, and what it means for one’s romantic relationships.</p> <h2>What is attachment?</h2> <p>Attachment theory stems from the field of developmental psychology. It is the notion that in the first year of life, the ways in which a parent and caregiver respond to a child’s needs shape a child’s expectation of relationships across their lifespan.</p> <p>In research, attachment has been associated with well-being across the lifespan including: <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/S0954579499002035">mental</a> and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14616734.2018.1541517">physical</a> health, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0032671">brain functioning</a> and even <a href="https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&amp;type=pdf&amp;doi=092354a82953ac321429f84b00607bcd44ac4c63">romantic relationships</a>.</p> <figure class="align-center "><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=455&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=455&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=455&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=572&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=572&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=572&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 2262w" alt="Illustrations of four different attachment styes" /><figcaption><span class="caption">There are two overarching types of attachment: secure and insecure. Types of insecure attachment include disorganized, avoidant and anxious attachment.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure> <h2>How is attachment related to romantic relationships?</h2> <p>Among professionals in the field, there is diversity in perspectives regarding how attachment relates with romantic relationships. As developmental psychologists, we tend to think that attachment is associated with romantic relationships through what we call the “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/14616739900134191">internal working model</a>.”</p> <p>In childhood, when a parent is consistent and responsive in tending to their child, the child learns that their parent can be counted on in times of need. These expectations and beliefs about relationships are then internalized as a blueprint, sometimes in popular media referred to as a “<a href="https://medium.com/live-your-life-on-purpose/love-maps-are-a-gamechanger-when-you-have-an-anxious-attachment-style-dc8f219ab0af">love map</a>.” Just like how an architect uses a blueprint to design a building, a child’s attachment to their parents provides a blueprint for understanding how to approach other relationships.</p> <p>Based on this blueprint, people develop expectations of how relationships should work, and how other important people in their life, including partners, should respond to their needs.</p> <p>Sometimes attachment is also described in terms of attachment “styles.” There are two overarching types of attachment: <a href="https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203758045">secure and insecure</a>. Those with a secure attachment style tend to have expectations that their attachment figures (and later, partners) will be responsive, sensitive and caring in times of distress. People with secure “blueprints” find it easier to build new structures (i.e., relationships) with the same design.</p> <p>People with insecure blueprints — such as disorganized, avoidant or anxious attachment styles — may face relationship challenges when their current relationship doesn’t align with their childhood experiences, and may need to renovate their blueprint design together with their partner.</p> <p>Whether you think about attachment as a style or a love map, they both are related to expectations of relationships, which are shaped by past experiences.</p> <p>In research we see that people who had consistent, reliable and sensitive parents are more likely to have more positive relationships — including <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.1997.tb00135.x">friendships</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.13322">teacher-child relationships</a> and yes, <a href="https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&amp;type=pdf&amp;doi=092354a82953ac321429f84b00607bcd44ac4c63">romantic relationships too</a>.</p> <h2>Relationships with parents and relationships with partners</h2> <p>Although we do see in research that better childhood relationships are associated with better romantic relationships, there is still a large part of the population who have good relationships with partners, despite their history of lower-quality relationships with their parents.</p> <figure class="align-center "><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=453&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=453&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=453&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=569&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=569&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=569&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 2262w" alt="Illustration of loving parents with a child, and the grown child in a loving relationship" /><figcaption><span class="caption">In research we see that people who had consistent, reliable and sensitive parents are more likely to have more positive relationships.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure> <p>It is possible for romantic relationships to serve as a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.4.2.155">“healing relationship”</a> and improve one’s own internal working model of relationships. Specifically, when a partner is consistently sensitive, responsive and available, a person may begin to adjust their blueprint and develop new expectations from relationships. Attachment theory consistently supports the idea that one’s patterns of attachment <a href="https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ960225">can change</a>.</p> <p>So, all in all, the answer is no: Your relationship with your parents influences but does not <em>determine</em> the quality of your romantic relationships.</p> <h2>Is attachment the reason why my relationships don’t work out?</h2> <p>It is possible that your expectations of a romantic relationship may not align with the expectations of your partner, and may affect the quality of the relationship. For example, sometimes individuals with insecure attachments may withdraw when they are upset, but their partner who has a secure attachment may be upset that their partner is not coming to them for comfort.</p> <p>Thinking through your own attachment history and expectations of relationships may be a great opportunity for self-reflection, but it is important to remember that attachment is only one part of a relationship. Communication, trust and respect, to name a few, are also critically important aspects of a relationship.</p> <h2>Can I improve my attachment expectations?</h2> <p>The short answer: Yes! Improving attachment quality has been one of the cornerstones of attachment theory and research since its conception. Most commonly, attachment is targeted in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0LCPe5CMarYi1NmqNttDcg/videos">childhood through interventions</a>, but also in adulthood through individual therapy, or various forms of couples therapy, such as <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaHms5z-yuM">Emotionally Focused Therapy</a> or the <a href="https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/">Gottman Method</a>.</p> <p>It is also possible that through positive relationships you may be able to improve your own expectations of relationships. There are many different avenues to explore, but improvement is always possible.</p> <p>In sum, attachment can be an important factor in romantic relationships, but it is not a “catch-all” to be blamed for why relationships may not work out. Thinking about your own expectations for relationships and talking through those with your partner may do great things in improving the quality of your relationships!  <!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/226101/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marissa-nivison-1454992">Marissa Nivison</a>, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Department of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sheri-madigan-417151">Sheri Madigan</a>, Professor, Canada Research Chair in Determinants of Child Development, Owerko Centre at the Alberta Children’s Hospital Research Institute, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-attachment-theory-actually-important-for-romantic-relationships-226101">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

How to fall asleep without sleeping pills: 7 natural sleep aids that actually work

<p>It’s 3am and you’re suddenly wide awake. Try these seven science-backed strategies to fall back to sleep fast.</p> <p><strong>Give meditation a try </strong></p> <p>As a mindfulness coach, I’m very aware of the day-to-day anxieties and worries that can interfere with a good night’s sleep. One of the most effective natural sleep aids is a quick meditation session to ease yourself out of those stresses. If you’ve never meditated before, you’ll likely find the meditation interrupted by thoughts flashing through your mind.</p> <p>It’s important for you to know that this isn’t a failure on your part, and that you aren’t doing anything wrong. Thinking is just what the brain does, as naturally as lungs take in air. The point is to be non-judgmental yet aware of your thoughts, bodily experiences and breath, moment by moment.</p> <p><em>Sleep better, feel better! <a href="https://gaiam.innovations.com.au/p/gaiam-wellness/rollers-resistance/27-72435-gaiam-strengthen-stretch-kit?affiliate=GAIAM6O" target="_blank" rel="noopener">This Blackout Sleep Mask from Gaiam</a> will help you feel well rested and renewed. </em></p> <p><strong>Stop wanting to fall asleep</strong></p> <p>It’s counterintuitive, isn’t it? Sometimes trying too hard to do something is the very thing that prevents us from achieving it – and that’s never more true than when it comes to falling asleep. Desperately wanting to sleep will only stoke anxieties that will further stress your brain, essentially feeding it the message that it’s not safe to sleep.</p> <p>Throw in those worries about your to-do list at work the following day, and the whole thing can snowball into a panic attack. Try letting go of that feeling that you absolutely must sleep now, and observe your own anxieties for what they are without judgment. When you stop looking at sleep as a goal, you’ll find it easier to fall asleep.</p> <p><em>Before you climb into bed, set aside 10-15 minutes to help relax your body and mind, with <a href="https://gaiam.innovations.com.au/p/gaiam-wellness/restore-massage/27-73353-gaiam-wellness-acupressure-neck-back-pillow?affiliate=GAIAM60" target="_blank" rel="noopener">this wellness acupressure neck and back pillow from Gaiam</a>.</em></p> <p><strong>Start a journal </strong></p> <p>If you find yourself struggling to fall asleep, pick up a pen and paper (not your phone!), and start writing: simply scribble down an account of what’s going on inside your head. Although there’s no “right” way to journal, you might start by listing the events of your day, and from there, how those events and encounters made you feel.</p> <p>Building this structured picture of your thoughts may help you see that the problem that’s keeping you up at night, and is likely less overwhelming than you thought. Why my insistence on a pen and paper? First off, studies show the simple motor action that’s involved in the act of handwriting has a calming effect. Secondly, the light emitted by laptops and phones isn’t conducive to falling asleep.</p> <p><strong>Find yourself a "3am friend"</strong></p> <p>Some of us are lucky to have a ‘3am friend’, that close confidant you can call up in the wee hours knowing that they won’t hold it against you in the morning. Although it’s great to have someone to talk to when you want to fall asleep, it’s important that the conversation doesn’t just rehash the anxieties that are preventing you from catching shut-eye in the first place.</p> <p>Rather than using the call to seek solutions for those issues, talk about things that calm your nerves, or even have them assist you in deep breathing. It may sound silly, but doing a series of deep, relaxing breaths can help you let go of the troubles that are keeping you wide awake.</p> <p><strong>Take a warm shower</strong></p> <p>Taking a warm shower not only relaxes your muscles and soothes minor aches and pains, but it also raises your core body temperature. As soon as you step out of the shower, your body starts working at lowering that temperature, which is something that normally happens when you’re falling asleep naturally.</p> <p>(That’s why we always feel the need for a blanket when we sleep, no matter how warm it is!) By kick-starting that temperature-lowering process, you’re tricking your body into falling asleep fast.</p> <p><strong>Stretch yourself to sleep </strong></p> <p>Anxiety keeping you up? Research suggests mild stretching can help take the edge off and relax muscles that have become stiff and sore after a long day. We’re not talking intricate yoga poses or acrobatics here, either: Simple stretches like an overhead arm stretch and bending over to touch your toes should do the trick. Ramp up the relaxation potential with a soundtrack of ambient noise at a volume that’s just barely audible.</p> <p>There are plenty of white noise apps that are free to download, but soft music can work as well (so long as there are no lyrics). Just remember, if you’re using an electronic device to play these sleep-promoting sounds, make sure it’s placed screen-down so you’re not distracted by the light it emits.</p> <p><em>Stretching is healing, and this <a href="https://gaiam.innovations.com.au/p/gaiam-wellness/rollers-resistance/27-72435-gaiam-strengthen-stretch-kit?affiliate=GAIAM60" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Strengthen and Stretch Kit from Gaiam</a> is a great way to start. An on-line workout is also included to get you started.</em></p> <p><strong>Read (or listen!) to something new</strong></p> <p>When you’re struggling with insomnia, it might be tempting to pull an old favourite off the bookshelf. In reality, it’s better to read or listen to an audio book that covers a topic on which you know absolutely nothing. New information, while taking attention away from the stressors that are keeping you up at night, gives your brain enough of a workout to make it tire more quickly than when it’s engaged with familiar subjects and concepts.</p> <p>Again, if it’s an audio book or podcast you’re listening to, make sure the light-emitting side of the device is face down to keep the room as dark as possible. Darkness and warmth play an essential part in the production and maintenance of melatonin, the hormone that plays the central role falling asleep.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article by </em><em>Deepak Kashyap </em><em style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/healthsmart/conditions/sleep/how-to-fall-asleep-without-sleeping-pills-7-natural-sleep-aids-that-actually-work" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Body

Placeholder Content Image

Think $5.50 is too much for a flat white? Actually it’s too cheap, and our world-famous cafes are paying the price

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emma-felton-143029">Emma Felton</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-south-australia-1180">University of South Australia</a></em></p> <p>Even in a stubborn cost-of-living crisis, it seems there’s one luxury most Australians <a href="https://www.comparethemarket.com.au/news/what-australians-wont-give-up-cost-of-living-crisis-report/">won’t sacrifice</a> – their daily cup of coffee.</p> <p>Coffee sales have largely <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/866543/australia-domestic-consumption-of-coffee/">remained stable</a>, even as financial pressures have bitten over the past few years.</p> <p>So too have prices. Though many of us became upset when prices began to creep up last year, they’ve since largely settled in the range between $4.00 and $5.50 for a basic drink.</p> <p>But this could soon have to change. By international standards, Australian coffee prices are low.</p> <p>No one wants to pay more for essentials, least of all right now. But our independent cafes are struggling.</p> <p>By not valuing coffee properly, we risk losing the <a href="https://bizcup.com.au/australian-coffee-culture/">internationally renowned</a> coffee culture we’ve worked so hard to create, and the phenomenal quality of cup we enjoy.</p> <h2>Coffee is relatively cheap in Australia</h2> <p>Our recent survey of Australian capital cities found the average price of a small takeaway flat white at speciality venues is A$4.78.</p> <p>But in <a href="https://pabloandrustys.com.au/blogs/drinkbettercoffee/global-coffee-prices">some international capitals</a>, it’s almost double this, even after adjusting for local <a href="https://www.investopedia.com/updates/purchasing-power-parity-ppp/">purchasing power parity</a>.</p> <p><iframe id="gaplH" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: none;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/gaplH/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0"></iframe></p> <p>In London, a small flat white costs about A$6.96. Singapore, A$8.42. In Athens, as much as A$9.95.</p> <h2>The cafe business is getting harder</h2> <p>Over the past few decades, coffee prices haven’t kept pace with input costs. In the early 2000s, after wages, food costs, utilities and rent, many cafes <a href="https://www.coffeecommune.com.au/blog-why-are-cafes-so-expensive/">earned healthy profit margins</a> as high as 20%.</p> <p>The <a href="https://www.ibisworld.com/au/industry/cafes-coffee-shops/2015/">most recent data from IBISWorld</a> show that while Australian cafe net profits have recovered from a drop in 2020, at 7.6%, they remain much lower than the Australian <a href="https://www.money.com.au/research/australian-business-statistics">average business profit margin of 13.3%</a>.</p> <p>For an independent owner operating a cafe with the <a href="https://www.ibisworld.com/au/industry/cafes-coffee-shops/2015/">average turnover of A$300,000</a>, this would amount to a meagre A$22,800 annual net profit after all the bills are paid.</p> <h2>What goes into a cup?</h2> <p>Just looking at the cost of raw inputs – milk, beans, a cup and a lid – might make the margin seem lucrative. But they don’t paint the whole picture.</p> <figure class="align-center "><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/584949/original/file-20240328-24-rlngpk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/584949/original/file-20240328-24-rlngpk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=600&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/584949/original/file-20240328-24-rlngpk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=600&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/584949/original/file-20240328-24-rlngpk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=600&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/584949/original/file-20240328-24-rlngpk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=754&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/584949/original/file-20240328-24-rlngpk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=754&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/584949/original/file-20240328-24-rlngpk.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=754&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 2262w" alt="A takeaway coffee cup showing the price inputs, with wages and operation costs making up over 65% of the cost of a coffee" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Chart: The Conversation.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://pabloandrustys.com.au/blogs/drinkbettercoffee/whats-in-the-cost-of-coffee">Data: Pablo and Rusty's Coffee Roasters</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA</a></span></figcaption></figure> <p>Over the past few years, renting the building, keeping the lights on and paying staff have all become <a href="https://www.reuters.com/business/ground-down-australia-coffee-shops-an-early-inflation-casualty-2023-07-10/">much bigger factors</a> in the equation for coffee shop owners, and many of these pressures aren’t easing.</p> <p><strong>1. Green coffee price</strong></p> <p>Increasingly <a href="https://www.aa.com.tr/en/environment/brewing-crisis-how-climate-change-is-reshaping-coffee-production/3113886">subject to the effects</a> of climate change, the baseline commodity price of green (unroasted) coffee is <a href="https://perfectdailygrind.com/2024/02/demand-for-robusta-prices-record-high/">going up</a>.</p> <p>Arabica – the higher quality bean you’re most likely drinking at specialty cafes – is a more expensive raw product. Despite levelling off from post-pandemic highs, its price is still trending up. In 2018, it <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/675807/average-prices-arabica-and-robusta-coffee-worldwide/">sold</a> for US$2.93 per kilogram, which is projected to increase to US$4.38 dollars in 2025.</p> <p>Robusta coffee is cheaper, and is the type <a href="https://www.lavazza.com.au/en/coffee-secrets/difference-type-arabica-robusta-coffee">typically used to make instant coffee</a>. But serious drought in Vietnam has just pushed the price of robusta to an <a href="https://www.barchart.com/story/news/25094367/coffee-rallies-with-robusta-at-a-record-high-on-shrinking-coffee-output-in-vietnam">all-time high</a>, putting pressure on the cost of coffee more broadly.</p> <p><strong>2. Milk prices</strong></p> <p>The price of fresh milk has risen by <a href="https://cdn-prod.dairyaustralia.com.au/-/media/project/dairy-australia-sites/national-home/resources/reports/situation-and-outlook/situation-and-outlook-report-march-2024.pdf?rev=b0222df4b01b40d0ae36cf8ac7b01bc0">more than 20%</a> over the past two years, and remains at a peak. This has put sustained cost pressure on the production of our <a href="https://gitnux.org/australian-coffee-consumption-statistics/#:%7E:text=Coffee%20is%20a%20beloved%20beverage,approximately%206%20billion%20cups%20annually.">most popular drink orders</a>: cappuccinos and flat whites.</p> <p><strong>3. Wages and utilities</strong></p> <p>Over the past year, Australian wages have grown at their <a href="https://ministers.treasury.gov.au/ministers/jim-chalmers-2022/media-releases/real-wages-growth-back">fastest rate</a> since 2009, which is welcome news for cafe staff, but tough on operators in a sector with low margins.</p> <p>Electricity prices remain elevated after significant inflation, but could <a href="https://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/heres-how-much-your-energy-bills-might-go-down-by-and-when/k8g00jheg">begin to fall mid-year</a>.</p> <h2>Specialty vs. commodity coffee: why price expectations create an industry divide</h2> <p>One of the key factors keeping prices low in Australia is consumer expectation.</p> <p>For many people coffee is a fundamental part of everyday life, a marker of livability. Unlike wine or other alcohol, coffee is not considered a luxury or even a treat, where one might expect to pay a little more, or reduce consumption when times are economically tough. We anchor on familiar prices.</p> <p><iframe id="oDbah" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: none;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/oDbah/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0"></iframe></p> <p>Because of this, it really hurts cafe owners to put their prices up. In touch with their customer base almost every day, they’re acutely aware of how much inflation can hurt.</p> <p>But in Australia, a huge proportion of coffee companies are also passionate about creating a world-class product by only using “<a href="https://medium.com/@samandsunrise/why-is-specialty-coffee-so-expensive-6cf298935e4b#:%7E:text=Specialty%20Shops%20Feature%20High%20Grade%20Coffees&amp;text=Their%20coffees%20are%20hand%2Dpicked,even%20on%20the%20same%20tree.">specialty coffee</a>”. Ranked at least 80 on a quality scale, specialty beans cost significant more than commodity grade, but their production offers better working conditions for farmers and encourages more sustainable growing practices.</p> <p>Although not commensurate with the wine industry, there are similarities. Single origin, high quality beans are often sourced from one farm and demand higher prices than commodity grade coffee, where cheaper sourced beans are often combined in a blend.</p> <p>Running a specialty cafe can also mean roasting your own beans, which requires a big investment in expertise and equipment.</p> <p>It’s an obvious example of doing the right thing by your suppliers and customers. But specialty cafes face much higher operating costs, and when they’re next to a commodity-grade competitor, customers are typically unwillingly to pay the difference.</p> <h2>Approach price rises with curiosity, not defensiveness</h2> <p>When cafe owners put up their prices, we often rush to accuse them of selfishness or profiteering. But they’re often just trying to survive.</p> <p>Given the quality of our coffee and its global reputation, it shouldn’t surprise us if we’re soon asked to pay a little bit more for our daily brew.</p> <p>If we are, we should afford the people who create one of our most important “<a href="https://theconversation.com/how-cafes-bars-gyms-barbershops-and-other-third-places-create-our-social-fabric-135530">third spaces</a>” kindness and curiosity as to why. <!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/226015/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emma-felton-143029"><em>Emma Felton</em></a><em>, Adjunct Senior Researcher, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-south-australia-1180">University of South Australia</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/think-5-50-is-too-much-for-a-flat-white-actually-its-too-cheap-and-our-world-famous-cafes-are-paying-the-price-226015">original article</a>.</em></p>

Money & Banking

Placeholder Content Image

‘To truly forget life for a while – a reprieve and a reward’: why Australians love going to the cinema

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ruari-elkington-105955">Ruari Elkington</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queensland-university-of-technology-847">Queensland University of Technology</a></em></p> <p>Australians have had plenty of time in the last 100 years to work out what they value about cinema-going and why it matters. Head to any cinema and catch the Val Morgan advertising in the pre-show. Take a closer look at the date the company was founded. Not 1984, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Val_Morgan">but 1894</a>. That’s more than 125 years of “Making Messages Memorable” on Australian screens.</p> <p>We have a deep and abiding love for cinema in this country. Over the last century, the experience of going to the movies has both shifted significantly (<a href="https://villageroadshow.com.au/-/media/VRL-Corporate-Media-Library/Documents/Press-Releases/2017/5-December-Gold-Class-Celebrates-20-Years.pdf">we invented Gold Class, you know</a>) and somehow remained resolutely enduring in terms of appeal.</p> <p>My colleague Tess Van Hemert and I have spent the last two years <a href="https://research.qut.edu.au/dmrc/projects/resilient-screens-investigating-the-value-of-australian-cinema-exhibition/">researching</a> the cultures and practices of cinema-going and how cinema sites shape that experience.</p> <p>A typical response in our research was: "I love the cinema experience. It’s a bonding experience, if it’s good it’s an emotional and cathartic experience."</p> <h2>‘A reprieve and a reward’</h2> <p>Cinemas <a href="https://www.bfi.org.uk/industry-data-insights/reports/measuring-economic-value-cinema-venues">are a catalyst</a> for social, cultural and economic activity wherever they operate, from single-screen regional sites to major multiplexes in suburban shopping malls. Cinema, our participants said, is the “ideal” way to watch a movie: "I like to sit as close as I can to the screen so that the ‘real’ world is completely blocked out. I am immersed in &amp; in awe of the film only. To truly forget life for a while – a reprieve &amp; a reward."</p> <p>Cinemas also mirror communities back to themselves. We may go in alone, as a couple or with family and friends, but in the cinema we form a community.</p> <p>When reflecting on returning to the cinema between COVID lockdowns, one person spoke of seeing American Utopia "There were only about 10 people in the cinema. We didn’t know each other but we all started spontaneously dancing, first in our seats, and then everyone ran down to the floor in front of the screen to dance together. It was like a mini music festival when live music was banned."</p> <p>Despite the cost, despite the hassle, despite the need to leave the couch, Australians turn up time and time again to cinemas. In 2023, the Australian box office generated nearly <a href="https://if.com.au/australian-box-office-neared-1b-in-2023/">A$1 billion</a> (although this is down on <a href="https://variety.com/2020/film/asia/australia-annual-box-office-drops-1203476275/">pre-COVID figures</a>). Four of the top ten highest grossing films of all time in Australia have been released <a href="https://www.valmorgan.com.au/2022-at-the-movies">since the pandemic began</a>. Australian census data tells us cinema-going remains Australia’s <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/people-and-communities#:%7E:text=44%25%20of%20people%20attended%20the,popular%20cultural%20venue%20or%20event">most popular</a> cultural activity.</p> <h2>‘Being able to switch off’</h2> <p>When cinemas face closure – or shut temporarily, as they did during the pandemic – the outpouring of community support can galvanise a community and remind them of all the times and ways in which they valued that access to that experience.</p> <p>One participant spoke of seeing their first film in the cinema after the pandemic: "It made me appreciate the whole cinema experience more. Getting out and being able to switch off was a welcome change."</p> <p>In our research, we observed how cinemas began to <a href="https://www.palacecinemas.com.au/blog/the-cinema-why-we-love-it/">articulate</a> their value to community through the pandemic period of forced closures.</p> <p>In the <a href="https://eprints.qut.edu.au/243758/">large-scale national audience research</a> we conducted in partnership with Palace Cinemas the value audiences derive from cinema-going was as diverse as the programming.</p> <p>They remembered specific films, such as watching the opening credits of Force Awakens with a crowd of avid fans, or feeling like they were “experiencing summer in Italy” while watching Call Me By Your Name.</p> <p>They focused on memories of the people they were with, such as feeling “all grown up” while seeing arthouse films with their dad when they were a kid.</p> <h2>‘Float in the memory’</h2> <p>They spoke about the feelings they had before during and after the screening and the experience overall. One respondent wrote of loving the end of a film: "the quiet few minutes as the credits roll and you float in the memory of the film. This only happens for me when I see it in the cinema."</p> <p>Another participant spoke about leaving the cinema and: "doing a walk around the block thinking about the movie, still thinking about the movie driving home."</p> <p>One participant said they love “being able to have respectful (unbothered) alone time publicly”.</p> <p>Clear in this data is that memorability – and the experience of cinema – is far more nuanced than the simple appeal of watching a big film in a big room on a big screen. Cinemas continue to serve Australian communities in far more complex way than simply movies and popcorn.</p> <p>Cinema has always battled headwinds. Since radio, cinema has constantly faced in-home entertainment technology that was supposed to knock it over completely – TV, colour TV, cable, satellite, VHS, DVDs and now streaming. Each time, the desire for people to come together in a space and watch something unique in a way they can’t find anywhere else, with a level of engagement they can’t find anywhere else, has prevailed. We all have a kitchen at home, but we still love going out to restaurants.</p> <p>Disney, Warner Bros and Australia’s own Birch Carrol and Coyle all celebrated 100 years of operation in 2023. To sustain another century, more research is needed to better understand how cinema-going must continue to evolve to meet shifting audience expectations.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/222597/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ruari-elkington-105955">Ruari Elkington</a>, Senior Lecturer in Creative Industries &amp; Chief Investigator at QUT Digital Media Research Centre (DMRC), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queensland-university-of-technology-847">Queensland University of Technology</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/to-truly-forget-life-for-a-while-a-reprieve-and-a-reward-why-australians-love-going-to-the-cinema-222597">original article</a>.</em></p>

Movies

Placeholder Content Image

Love-struck elephant goes wild on safari

<p>In the annals of adventure, there are tales of bravery and resilience – and then there are tales of two guys just trying to find a quiet spot for a bathroom break in South Africa.</p> <p>Meet Henry Blom and Taylor Fulmer, the unlikely protagonists of a safari gone haywire. Innocently disembarking from their tour truck for a brief moment of relief in the bush, the pair suddenly found themselves smack dab in the middle of a romantic rampage by none other than a love-stricken bull elephant.</p> <p>As screams echoed through the savannah, Henry and Taylor found themselves in a bizarre game of hide and seek with a pachyderm-sized opponent. "We got off the truck with a bunch of other people to use the bathrooms and then we started hearing screaming," Henry <a href="https://9now.nine.com.au/today/elephant-safari-attack-witnesses-describe-terrifying-moment-wild-animal-charged/451c9dd1-3d90-4112-868c-99e3a8f17019" target="_blank" rel="noopener">recounted on the <em>Today </em>show</a>, probably wishing they had all decided to hold it in a little longer.</p> <p>But it wasn't just any elephant causing the ruckus. No, this was one amorous elephant on a mission – sweating, urinating and emitting more bodily fluids than a broken faucet.</p> <p>As the wild beast charged, Henry and Taylor feared for their lives, imagining scenarios straight out of an action movie where they'd be the unlucky extras squashed beneath a mammoth-sized villain.</p> <p>Yet, amid the chaos, there emerged a hero: the tour guide. While the elephant treated the truck like a chew toy, the guide maintained a Zen-like calm, steering the vehicle with the finesse of a seasoned race car driver dodging obstacles. "We saw the elephant charge and my fear was that it was going to go through the window," Taylor recounted, possibly wondering if he should've packed a spare pair of pants for the trip.</p> <p>As the dust settled and the elephant's romantic pursuit waned, Henry and Taylor breathed a sigh of relief. But their ordeal wasn't over just yet. The guide's sage advice? "Stay quiet and get ready to run."</p> <p>Words of wisdom to live by, especially when you're in the crosshairs of a loved-up elephant.</p> <p>Reflecting on their brush with danger, Henry and Taylor couldn't help but marvel at the surreal experience. "He was so close we could smell him, it was crazy," Henry mused, perhaps understating the olfactory assault they endured.</p> <p>So, the next time you're contemplating a safari adventure, remember Henry and Taylor's tale of bathroom breaks gone wild. Because when nature calls in the wild, you might just find yourself in the midst of an elephant love story – and trust us, it's not as romantic as it sounds.</p> <p>Images: The <em>Today </em>Show</p>

Travel Trouble

Placeholder Content Image

Not all mourning happens after bereavement – for some, grief can start years before the death of a loved one

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lisa-graham-wisener-1247893">Lisa Graham-Wisener</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-belfast-687">Queen's University Belfast</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/audrey-roulston-1512057">Audrey Roulston</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-belfast-687">Queen's University Belfast</a></em></p> <p>For many people, grief starts not at the point of death, but from the moment a loved one is diagnosed with a life-limiting illness.</p> <p>Whether it’s the diagnosis of an advanced cancer or a non-malignant condition such as dementia, heart failure or Parkinson’s disease, the psychological and emotional process of grief can begin many months or even years before the person dies. This experience of mourning a future loss is known as <a href="https://link.springer.com/referenceworkentry/10.1007/978-3-319-69892-2_1006-1">anticipatory grief</a>.</p> <p>While not experienced by everyone, anticipatory grief is a <a href="https://spcare.bmj.com/content/bmjspcare/early/2022/02/10/bmjspcare-2021-003338.full.pdf?casa_token=IWNMDFN5SoIAAAAA:2EybwyPcKu73VdrACTNk7jITor-mMIXK8rv76arXgdjV9cA2Y0MV0LyZLLwcYe1rZUAQymOzFYo">common</a> part of the grieving process and can include a range of conflicting, often difficult thoughts and emotions. For example, as well as feelings of loss, some people can experience guilt from wanting their loved one to be free of pain, or imagining what life will be like after they die.</p> <h2>Difficult to define, distressing to experience</h2> <p>Anticipatory grief has proved <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/02692163221074540#bibr13-02692163221074540">challenging to define</a>. A <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/02692163221074540#bibr13-02692163221074540">systematic review</a> of research studies on anticipatory grief identified over 30 different descriptions of pre-death grief. This lack of consensus has limited research progress, because there’s no shared understanding of how to identify anticipatory grief.</p> <p>Therese Rando, a <a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9781315800806-9/grief-mourning-accommodating-loss-therese-rando">prominent theorist</a>, has proposed that anticipatory grief can help prepare for death, contributing to a more positive grieving experience post-bereavement. Rando also suggests that pre-death mourning can aid with adjustment to the loss of a loved one and reduce the risk of <a href="https://www.cruse.org.uk/understanding-grief/effects-of-grief/complicated-grief/">“complicated grief”</a>, a term that describes persistent and debilitating emotional distress.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/AapGn60DZSA?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>But pre-death mourning doesn’t necessarily mean grief will be easier to work through once a loved one has died. Other <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953621005724?casa_token=I9mbdSv3d3gAAAAA:MqxN5X_iWbcqa6BYj7IXmImUviheOQWAVA4UBy6795UDuS1uOHG9b245qMkyOiLcvjv_SU6yVA">research evidence</a> shows that it’s possible to experience severe anticipatory grief yet remain unprepared for death.</p> <h2>Carers should seek support</h2> <p>Carers of people with life-limiting illnesses may notice distressing changes in the health of their loved ones. Witnessing close-up someone’s deterioration and decline in independence, memory or ability to perform routine daily tasks, such as personal care, is a painful experience.</p> <p>It is essential, then, for carers to acknowledge difficult emotions and seek support from those around them – especially because caring for a loved one at the end of their life <a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helping-someone-else/carers-friends-family-coping-support/your-mental-health/">can be an isolating time</a>.</p> <p>Where possible, it can also be beneficial for carers to offer their loved one <a href="https://compassionatecommunitiesni.com/our-programs/dying-to-talk/">opportunities to reflect</a> on significant life events, attend to unfinished business, and to discuss preferences for funeral arrangements. For some, this may involve supporting loved ones to reconnect with friends and family, helping them to put legal or financial affairs in order, talking about how the illness is affecting them, or making an <a href="https://www.england.nhs.uk/publication/universal-principles-for-advance-care-planning/">advance care plan</a>.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/wrJaTXW1Xvk?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <h2>Talking is key</h2> <p>Living with altered family dynamics, multiple losses, transition and uncertainty can be <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/07481187.2021.1998935">distressing for all family members</a>. It may be difficult to manage the emotional strain of knowing death is unavoidable, to make sense of the situation, and to <a href="https://hospicefoundation.ie/i-need-help/i-am-seriously-ill/how-to-talk-to-those-you-care-about/">talk about dying</a>.</p> <p>However, talking is key in <a href="https://www.cruse.org.uk/about/blog/important-conversations-death/">preparing for an impending death</a>. Organisations who offer specialist palliative care have information and trained professionals to help with difficult conversations, including <a href="https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/diagnosed/talking-children/children">talking to children</a> about death and dying.</p> <p>Navigating anticipatory grief can involve self-compassion for both the patient and carer. This includes acknowledging difficult emotions and treating oneself with kindness. Open communication with the person nearing the end of their life can foster emotional connection and help address their concerns, alongside support from the wider circle of family and friends.</p> <p>Extending empathy and understanding to those nearing death – and those grieving their impending loss – will help contribute to a compassionate community that supports those experiencing death, dying and bereavement.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221629/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lisa-graham-wisener-1247893">Lisa Graham-Wisener</a>, Lecturer of Health Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-belfast-687">Queen's University Belfast</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/audrey-roulston-1512057">Audrey Roulston</a>, Professor of Social Work in Palliative Care, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-belfast-687">Queen's University Belfast</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/not-all-mourning-happens-after-bereavement-for-some-grief-can-start-years-before-the-death-of-a-loved-one-221629">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

Aussie love story from WWII immortalised in the war memorial

<p>An Australian couple's love story that defied the odds of time and distance has been immortalised in the war memorial.</p> <p>The Australian War Memorial is calling for volunteers to help transcribe thousands of love letters sent from soldiers in the war, to their loved ones back at home. </p> <p>Launching on Valentine's Day, the project will see the digital release of hundreds of thousands of personal letters, diaries and other handwritten documents kept safe for decades. </p> <p>Among those stories is the tale of Mac and Dot, two lovebirds separated by World War II. </p> <p>Their love story began in 1939, when Mac was 17 and Dorothy was 14. </p> <p>Dorothy - or as Mac referred to her, his Darling Dot - was forbidden to go on a date with Mac after her father refused to give his blessing. </p> <p>"He kept on asking me to go out but my father wouldn't let me," Dorothy laughed as she told Ally Langdon on <em>A Current Affair</em>. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3Rj4g9vjIS/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3Rj4g9vjIS/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by A Current Affair (@acurrentaffair9)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Mac was soon off to war, but his plan was always to return home to Dot. </p> <p>"He said to me, 'When I come back home...Will you come out with me then?'" Dorothy reminisced.</p> <p>"I said, 'Of course I will, Mac!' And then he gave me a kiss and went to war."</p> <p>The young couple then continued to write each other letters every week for five long years, until Mac was captured by the German army and held as a prisoner of war. </p> <p>Despite his capture, Mac held onto every letter Dot had ever written him, as he remained determined to get home to his beloved. </p> <p>"I hated him being away, and when the letters came back oh gee they were wonderful," Dorothy said.</p> <p>"A letter meant he was still alive, you see, so it was so exciting."</p> <p>In April 1945, Dot received the best letter of all: Mac had escaped and was coming home. </p> <p>"Hello my darling. What does one say in a moment such as this?" Dot wrote on April 30th 1945.</p> <p>"I have butterflies in my stomach, love in my heart and few words that make sense in my mind. Well Mac, it's really coming at last. You're almost home". </p> <p>And Mac wrote back to that, "Hello darling. I miss you more now than ever."</p> <p>"Unfortunately I can't find a boat to take me back to you. If they don't hurry I guess I'll just have to pinch a rowing boat and see what I can do!" </p> <p>When Mac returned home, he brought with him half a decade's worth of those love letters from Dot, as well as a portrait of himself painted by another prisoner of war. </p> <p>It hangs proudly at the end of Dorothy's bed and is the first thing she sees when she wakes.</p> <p>Now Robyn Van Dyke and Terrie-Anne Simmonds from the Australian War Memorial are sifting through thousands of donated love letters, including Mac's and Dorothy's.</p> <p>"He not only managed to escape, but he managed to take all her letters with him and that blows me away because it's not a small amount of letters," Robyn said.</p> <p>The team is looking for <a href="https://transcribe.awm.gov.au" target="_blank" rel="noopener">volunteers</a> to help ensure those stories, and all that love, live forever.</p> <p>Dorothy, who is now 101 years old, had more than 70 wonderful years with Mac before he died in 2014. </p> <p>"He was nearly 90, you know. And me I just kept on going and going and going!" she said.</p> <p>"He'd be up there watching every minute I bet. We had such fun. Oh dear we did have fun. We laughed a lot and we cried a lot."</p> <p>"But we lived - and that was the main thing."</p> <p><em>Image credits: A Current Affair </em></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 24px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.333; font-family: 'Proxima Nova', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size-adjust: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-position: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; caret-color: #333333; color: #333333; letter-spacing: 0.25px;"> </p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

‘Self-love’ might seem selfish. But done right, it’s the opposite of narcissism

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ian-robertson-1372650">Ian Robertson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a></em></p> <p>“To love what you are, the thing that is yourself, is just as if you were embracing a glowing red-hot iron” <a href="https://archive.org/details/jungsseminaronni0000jung">said psychonalyst Carl Jung</a>.</p> <p>Some may argue this social media generation does not seem to struggle with loving themselves. But is the look-at-me-ism so easily found on TikTok and Instagram the kind of self-love we need in order to flourish?</p> <p>The language of <a href="https://theconversation.com/teaching-positive-psychology-skills-at-school-may-be-one-way-to-help-student-mental-health-and-happiness-217173">positive psychology</a> can be – and often is – appropriated for all kinds of self-importance, as well as cynical marketing strategies.</p> <p>Loving yourself, though, psychological experts stress, is not the same as behaving selfishly. There’s a firm line between healthy and appropriate forms of loving yourself, and malignant or <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-many-types-of-narcissist-are-there-a-psychology-expert-sets-the-record-straight-207610">narcissistic</a> forms. But how do we distinguish between them?</p> <p>In 2023, researchers Eva Henschke and Peter Sedlmeier conducted <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/355152846_What_is_self-love_Redefinition_of_a_controversial_construct">a series of interviews</a> with psychotherapists and other experts on what self-love is. They’ve concluded it has three main features: self-care, self-acceptance and self-contact (devoting attention to yourself).</p> <p>But as an increasingly individualistic society, are we already devoting too much attention to ourselves?</p> <h2>Philosophy and self-love</h2> <p>Philosophers and psychology experts alike have considered the ethics of self-love.</p> <p>Psychology researcher Li Ming Xue and her colleagues, <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.585719/full">exploring the notion of self-love in Chinese culture</a>, claim “Western philosophers believe that self-love is a virtue”. But this is a very broad generalisation.</p> <p>In the Christian tradition and in much European philosophy, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10848770.2020.1839209">says philosopher Razvan Ioan</a>, self-love is condemned as a profoundly damaging trait.</p> <p>On the other hand, <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2107991">many of the great Christian philosophers</a>, attempting to make sense of the instruction to love one’s neighbour as oneself, admitted certain forms of self-love were virtuous. In order to love your neighbour as yourself, you must, it would seem, love yourself.</p> <p>In the Western philosophical context, claim Xue and her colleagues, self-love is concerned with individual rights – “society as a whole only serves to promote an individual’s happiness”.</p> <p>This individualistic, self-concerned notion of self-love, they suggest, might come from the Ancient Greek philosophers. In particular, Aristotle. But <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/philosophy-stirred-not-shaken/201502/love-yourself-love-your-character">Aristotle thought only the most virtuous</a>, who benefited the society around them, should love themselves. By making this connection, he avoided equating self-love with self-centredness.</p> <p>We should love ourselves not out of vanity, he argued, but in virtue of our capacity for good. Does Aristotle, then, provide principled grounds for distinguishing between proper and improper forms of self-love?</p> <h2>Bar too high?</h2> <p>Aristotle might set the bar too high. If only the most virtuous should try to love themselves, this collides head-on with the idea loving yourself can help us improve and become more virtuous – as <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1057/9781137383310_6">philosophers Kate Abramson and Adam Leite have argued</a>.</p> <p>Many psychologists claim self-love is important for adopting the kind and compassionate self-perception crucial for overcoming conditions that weaponise self-criticism, like <a href="https://theconversation.com/clinical-perfectionism-when-striving-for-excellence-gets-you-down-43704">clinical perfectionism</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-many-people-have-eating-disorders-we-dont-really-know-and-thats-a-worry-121938">eating disorders</a>.</p> <p>More broadly, some argue compassion for oneself is necessary to support honest insights into your own behaviour. They believe we need warm and compassionate self-reflection to avoid the defensiveness that comes with the fear of judgement – even if we’re standing as our own judge.</p> <p>For this reason, a compassionate form of self-love is often necessary to follow Socrates’ advice to “know thyself”, says <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10677-015-9578-4">philosopher Jan Bransen</a>. Positive self-love, by these lights, can help us grow as people.</p> <h2>Self-love ‘misguided and silly’</h2> <p>But not everyone agrees you need self-love to grow. The late philosopher <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/news/2005/nov/29/guardianobituaries.obituaries">Oswald Hanfling</a> was deeply sceptical of this idea. In fact, he argued the notion of loving oneself was misguided and silly. His ideas are mostly rejected by philosophers of love, but pointing out where they go wrong can be useful.</p> <p>When you love someone, he said, you’re prepared to sacrifice your own interests for those of your beloved. But he thought the idea of sacrificing your own interests made no sense – which shows, he concluded, we can’t love ourselves.</p> <p><a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3751159">He wrote</a>: "I may sacrifice an immediate satisfaction for the sake of my welfare in the future, as in the case of giving up smoking. In this case, however, my motive is not love but self-interest. What I reveal in giving up smoking is not the extent of my love for myself, but an understanding that the long-term benefits of giving it up are likely to exceed the present satisfaction of going on with it."</p> <p>We often have conflicting interests (think of someone who is agonising over two different career paths) – and it’s not at all strange to sacrifice certain interests for the sake of others.</p> <p>This is not just a question of sacrificing short-term desires in favour of a long-term good, but a matter of sacrificing something of value for your ultimate benefit (or, so you hope).</p> <h2>Self-compassion</h2> <p>Hanfling fails to consider the role of compassionate self-love. While we might understand it’s in our interests to do something (for instance, repair bridges with someone we’ve fallen out with), it might take a compassionate and open disposition towards ourselves to recognise what’s in our best interests.</p> <p>We might need this self-compassion, too, in order to admit our failures – so we can overcome our defensiveness and see clearly how we’re failing to fulfil <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10677-015-9578-4">these interests</a>.</p> <p>Self-acceptance in this context does not mean giving ourselves licence to run roughshod over the interests of those around us, nor to justify our flaws as “valid” rather than work on them.</p> <p>Self-love, as promoted by contemporary psychologists, means standing in a compassionate relationship to ourselves. And there’s nothing contradictory about this idea.</p> <p>Just as we strive to develop a supportive, kind relationship to the people we care about – and just as this doesn’t involve uncritical approval of everything they do – compassionate self-love doesn’t mean abandoning valid self-criticism.</p> <p>In fact, self-compassion has the opposite effect. It promotes comfort with the kind of critical self-assessment that helps us grow – which leads to resilience. It breeds the opposite of narcissistic self-absorption.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/205938/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ian-robertson-1372650">Ian Robertson</a>, PhD Candidate (Teaching roles at Macquarie &amp; Wollongong), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/self-love-might-seem-selfish-but-done-right-its-the-opposite-of-narcissism-205938">original article</a>.</em></p>

Mind

Placeholder Content Image

How much weight do you actually need to lose? It might be a lot less than you think

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nick-fuller-219993">Nick Fuller</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p>If you’re one of the <a href="https://www.finder.com.au/new-years-resolutions-statistics">one in three</a> Australians whose New Year’s resolution involved losing weight, it’s likely you’re now contemplating what weight-loss goal you should actually be working towards.</p> <p>But type “setting a weight loss goal” into any online search engine and you’ll likely be left with more questions than answers.</p> <p>Sure, the many weight-loss apps and calculators available will make setting this goal seem easy. They’ll typically use a body mass index (BMI) calculator to confirm a “healthy” weight and provide a goal weight based on this range.</p> <p>Your screen will fill with trim-looking influencers touting diets that will help you drop ten kilos in a month, or ads for diets, pills and exercise regimens promising to help you effortlessly and rapidly lose weight.</p> <p>Most sales pitches will suggest you need to lose substantial amounts of weight to be healthy – making weight loss seem an impossible task. But the research shows you don’t need to lose a lot of weight to achieve health benefits.</p> <h2>Using BMI to define our target weight is flawed</h2> <p>We’re a society fixated on numbers. So it’s no surprise we use measurements and equations to score our weight. The most popular is BMI, a measure of our body weight-to-height ratio.</p> <p>BMI classifies bodies as underweight, normal (healthy) weight, overweight or obese and can be a useful tool for weight and health screening.</p> <p>But it shouldn’t be used as the single measure of what it means to be a healthy weight when we set our weight-loss goals. This is <a href="https://theconversation.com/using-bmi-to-measure-your-health-is-nonsense-heres-why-180412">because</a> it:</p> <ul> <li> <p>fails to consider two critical factors related to body weight and health – body fat percentage and distribution</p> </li> <li> <p>does not account for significant differences in body composition based on gender, ethnicity and age.</p> </li> </ul> <h2>How does losing weight benefit our health?</h2> <p>Losing just 5–10% of our body weight – between 6 and 12kg for someone weighing 120kg – can significantly improve our health in four key ways.</p> <p><strong>1. Reducing cholesterol</strong></p> <p>Obesity increases the chances of having too much low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol – also known as bad cholesterol – because carrying excess weight changes how our bodies produce and manage lipoproteins and triglycerides, another fat molecule we use for energy.</p> <p>Having too much bad cholesterol and high triglyceride levels is not good, narrowing our arteries and limiting blood flow, which increases the risk of heart disease, heart attack and stroke.</p> <p>But <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4987606/">research</a> shows improvements in total cholesterol, LDL cholesterol and triglyceride levels are evident with just 5% weight loss.</p> <p><strong>2. Lowering blood pressure</strong></p> <p>Our blood pressure is considered high if it reads more than 140/90 on at least two occasions.</p> <p>Excess weight is <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7082272/">linked to</a> high blood pressure in <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7082272/">several ways</a>, including changing how our sympathetic nervous system, blood vessels and hormones regulate our blood pressure.</p> <p>Essentially, high blood pressure makes our heart and blood vessels work harder and less efficiently, damaging our arteries over time and increasing our risk of heart disease, heart attack and stroke.</p> <p>Like the improvements in cholesterol, a 5% weight loss <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/oby.21358">improves</a> both systolic blood pressure (the first number in the reading) and diastolic blood pressure (the second number).</p> <p>A <a href="https://www.ahajournals.org/doi/10.1161/01.hyp.0000094221.86888.ae">meta-analysis of 25 trials</a> on the influence of weight reduction on blood pressure also found every kilo of weight loss improved blood pressure by one point.</p> <p><strong>3. Reducing risk for type 2 diabetes</strong></p> <p>Excess body weight is the primary manageable risk factor for type 2 diabetes, particularly for people carrying a lot of visceral fat around the abdomen (belly fat).</p> <p>Carrying this excess weight can cause fat cells to release pro-inflammatory chemicals that disrupt how our bodies regulate and use the insulin produced by our pancreas, leading to high blood sugar levels.</p> <p>Type 2 diabetes can lead to serious medical conditions if it’s not carefully managed, including damaging our heart, blood vessels, major organs, eyes and nervous system.</p> <p><a href="https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/nejmoa012512">Research</a> shows just 7% weight loss reduces risk of developing type 2 diabetes by 58%.</p> <p><strong>4. Reducing joint pain and the risk of osteoarthritis</strong></p> <p>Carrying excess weight can cause our joints to become inflamed and damaged, making us more prone to osteoarthritis.</p> <p><a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21425246/">Observational studies</a> show being overweight doubles a person’s risk of developing osteoarthritis, while obesity increases the risk fourfold.</p> <p>Small amounts of weight loss alleviate this stress on our joints. <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15986358/">In one study</a> each kilogram of weight loss resulted in a fourfold decrease in the load exerted on the knee in each step taken during daily activities.</p> <h2>Focus on long-term habits</h2> <p>If you’ve ever tried to lose weight but found the kilos return almost as quickly as they left, you’re not alone.</p> <p>An <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5764193/">analysis</a> of 29 long-term weight-loss studies found participants regained more than half of the weight lost within two years. Within five years, they regained more than 80%.</p> <p>When we lose weight, we take our body out of its comfort zone and trigger its survival response. It then counteracts weight loss, triggering several <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25896063/">physiological responses</a> to defend our body weight and “survive” starvation.</p> <p>Just as the problem is evolutionary, the solution is evolutionary too. Successfully losing weight long-term comes down to:</p> <ul> <li> <p>losing weight in small manageable chunks you can sustain, specifically periods of weight loss, followed by periods of weight maintenance, and so on, until you achieve your goal weight</p> </li> <li> <p>making gradual changes to your lifestyle to ensure you form habits that last a lifetime.</p> </li> </ul> <p>Setting a goal to reach a healthy weight can feel daunting. But it doesn’t have to be a pre-defined weight according to a “healthy” BMI range. Losing 5–10% of our body weight will result in immediate health benefits.</p> <p><em>At the Boden Group, Charles Perkins Centre, we are studying the science of obesity and running clinical trials for weight loss. You can <a href="https://redcap.sydney.edu.au/surveys/?s=RKTXPPPHKY">register here</a> to express your interest.</em><!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/217287/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nick-fuller-219993">Nick Fuller</a>, Charles Perkins Centre Research Program Leader, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-much-weight-do-you-actually-need-to-lose-it-might-be-a-lot-less-than-you-think-217287">original article</a>.</em></p>

Body

Placeholder Content Image

Chris Brown's candid love life admission

<p>Dr Chris Brown, who has stolen the hearts of many Aussies with his good looks, charm and love for animals has opened up about his love life. </p> <p>In a candid interview with <em>Stellar</em>, the TV personality revealed that he will keep his relationships private until he knows it's strong enough to withstand speculation and online commentary.</p> <p>“The challenge, really, is that it's hard enough to meet the right person, anyway,” he told the publication. </p> <p>He also opened up on what it's like to date in the public eye. </p> <p>“That extra layer of speculation and interest… once you're actually in a relationship it's easy, but it's meeting that person at the start that's really hard. You could potentially be on your first date and you get photographed.</p> <p>“And then there’s a search for who this person is, what her backstory is, and then all of a sudden, it becomes something that it may not be that stage.”</p> <p>The former<em> I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! </em>host added that it's easy to get into a “cycle”, which is “so bizarre it’s almost amusing”.</p> <p>In a previous interview with <a href="https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/lifestyle/stellar/dr-chris-brown-im-certainly-looking-for-the-one/news-story/1bade13d3b6cd4d8fa89ca2549ab573f" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Stellar</em></a>, he also said that he was "certainly looking for the one" and that his younger self would be "horrified" if he knew that he is still unmarried and without kids. </p> <p>“But it's my doing. I’ve probably prioritised work more than I potentially should have over the past 10 years – to the detriment of my personal life,”  he added. </p> <p>The beloved TV vet also said that he is looking for a serious relationship: "I don’t want to be this person with a history of short to medium-term relationships.”</p> <p>While Chris is known for keeping his love life private, he has had a few relationships in the past. </p> <p>In 2014 he was romantically linked to Bondi-based project manager Hannah Thomas and <em>Home and Away actress </em>Kassandra Clementi. </p> <p>In late 2016, he dated TV producer Kendall Bora, who he was with for two years. Bora has since tied the knot with <em>Weekend Sunrise </em>host Matt Doran. </p> <p>In 2018 he reportedly dated Liv Phyland for a year, before eventually calling it quits although they remain "really good friends" according to<em> Women's Day</em>. </p> <p>He was most recently linked to luxury magazine founder, Brooke Meredith, although they rarely made a public appearance together and reportedly split in late 2022. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Couple who found love in chemotherapy raise funds for final trip

<p>Ainslie Plumb, 22, and Joe Fan, 29, found love in an unexpected place, at the Royal Brisbane and Women’s Hospital. </p> <p>The couple met in 2022 while they were both undergoing leukaemia treatment. </p> <p>“We met at an event for young people with cancer and became friends following that,” Plumb told <em>7News</em>. </p> <p>“(We) would hang out during our hospital stays, I asked him out in October 2022 and (we) have been together ever since.” </p> <p>While Plumb successfully entered remission, last October, Fan was told that he was now terminal, as doctors had run out of options to treat his Philadelphia chromosome positive acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. </p> <p>With only months left to live, Fan, who has actively given back to the hospital and cancer community by playing his violin for patients and staff and worked with the Queensland Youth Cancer Service, has one final wish - to travel. </p> <p>The couple have set a <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-joe-live-his-dreams" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GoFundMe</a>, to help raise funds which cover flights, accommodation and specialised travel insurance, for Fan's final trip.</p> <p>“I go through my cancer treatments and observe the toll that takes on my physical and mental wellbeing,” Fan said.</p> <p>“The end of a trip can hopefully mark the start of another — and I have held onto hope, looked forward and dreamed for one more trip, more time, one more experience with that someone I love.”</p> <p>Their first destination will be Taiwan and Hong Kong, where Fan's parents are from and where he spent a majority of his childhood. </p> <p>They also intend to travel to New Zealand and Western Australia to swim with whale sharks at Ningaloo in the state’s north.</p> <p>“We’re aiming at going at the end of February to give us time to co-ordinate with his doctors around his appointments and infusions, which are all booked in advance,” Plumb said. </p> <p>“We recently reached 75 per cent on the fundraiser and are hoping to hit 100 per cent perhaps by the end of January.”</p> <p>As of today, the couple have successfully raised over $21,000 from their $20,000 goal, and have thanked everyone in their community and strangers for their support. </p> <p>“Truly, words do not suffice,” the couple said.</p> <p><em>Images: 7News </em></p> <p> </p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Readers Respond: What's a book you love that most people have never heard of?

<p>Looking for a new book to kickstart your year?  Look no further we've got you covered. </p> <p>Here are a few of our reader's book recommendations that you may not have heard of. </p> <p><strong>Ruth Fontaine</strong> - I’m reading <em>We of the Never Never </em>atm. Not sure if it’s still well known. I’ve read it before but awhile back and love it. I love reading how they lived nearly 120 years ago. </p> <p><strong>Elaine Rosenberg</strong> - <em>The Abbey Girls Series</em> by Elsie J Oxenham.</p> <p><strong>Maryika Welter</strong> - <em>The courage to be disliked.</em> ... Furmitake Kogan, Ichiro Kishimi.</p> <p><strong>Janice Stewart</strong> - <em>A Fortunate Life</em> by Albert Facey</p> <p><strong>Suzanne Midson</strong> - <em>On Our Selection</em> by Steele Rudd. Read it when I was about 10/12. Best laugh ever. Australian humour at its best.</p> <p><strong>Julie Anderson</strong> - <em>Episode of Sparrows</em> by Rumor Goddin </p> <p><strong>Nancie Golsby</strong> - <em>The Half Burned Tree</em> by Dympna Cusack</p> <p><strong>June Maynard</strong> - Sahara, by Paula Constant. Preceded by Slow Journey South. A thrilling, actual account of her adventure.</p> <p><strong>Peter Rayner </strong>- <em>Enforcer</em> by Caesar Campbell</p> <p><strong>Meg Milton</strong> - <em>I Heard the Owl Call My Name</em> by Margaret Craven</p> <p><strong>Edie Dore</strong> - <em>The Curious Incident of the Dog </em>in the Night-time by Mark Haddon.</p> <p><strong>Christine Cornforth</strong> - <em>A Grief Observed</em> by CS Lewis. </p> <p><strong>Wendy Oliver</strong> - <em>The Good Earth</em> by Pearl Buck</p> <p>Do you have any other recommendations that we might have missed?</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p> <p> </p>

Books

Placeholder Content Image

4 tips to help your loved one with dementia enjoy the festive season

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nikki-anne-wilson-342631">Nikki-Anne Wilson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a></em></p> <p>The festive season is fast approaching, and if you’re organising celebrations with family or friends, you might be grappling with a seemingly endless to-do list. But as you make these plans, it’s important to consider how you can best include any friends or loved ones living with dementia.</p> <p>While no two people experience dementia in the exact same way, <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/about-dementia/what-is-dementia">dementia</a> often affects the way people process and respond to their environment. Too much stimulation – like a lot of noise and activity at a Christmas party – can be overwhelming and may cause confusion or agitation.</p> <p>Finding ways to create a <a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/creating-a-calming-home-for-people-with-dementia#:%7E:text=The%20physical%20environment%20is%20important,in%20and%20enjoy%20everyday%20activities.">safe environment</a> at home for your loved one with dementia will help maximise the chances everyone has a good time.</p> <h2>1. Plan ahead, but be flexible</h2> <p>Planning celebrations can be overwhelming for everyone involved, and having excessive expectations can raise stress levels. Try to keep <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/information/about-you/i-am-a-carer-family-member-or-friend">expectations realistic</a> and in line with the current needs of your friend or loved one living with dementia.</p> <p>For example, people with dementia may experience <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/information/about-you/i-am-a-carer-family-member-or-friend/personal-care/eating">changes in their appetite</a> or food preferences, or difficulties chewing and swallowing. These changes might make some of the things on your festive menu unappetising or difficult to eat. Be guided by the needs and preferences of the person with dementia and keep options limited to one or two special foods if larger banquets are likely to be overwhelming.</p> <p>Things can change quickly for people living with dementia and their abilities will likely <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/about-dementia/what-is-dementia/progression-of-dementia#:%7E:text=A%20person%20with%20dementia's%20abilities,over%20a%20number%20of%20years.">vary from day to day</a>. Try to be flexible and have a backup plan in place. For special events, plan to record speeches or ceremonies to share when things are quieter.</p> <p>If you’re planning a large event, consider having a smaller gathering with your loved one with dementia and just a few special people.</p> <h2>2. Stick to the familiar</h2> <p>The sudden appearance of lots of decorations <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/sites/default/files/helpsheets/Helpsheet-TipsToAssistSocialEngagement03-TipsForHolidayCheer_english.pdf">may be overwhelming</a> for a person with dementia and trigger a negative sensory reaction or distress. Ensure decorations are safe and familiar and put them up slowly over a period of a few days.</p> <p>Try to also stick to familiar traditions and routines. <a href="https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/daily-care/daily-care-plan">Daily routines</a> are an important way of supporting people with dementia and sudden changes <a href="https://memory.ucsf.edu/caregiving-support/behavior-personality-changes#I-Investigate-Possible-Causes">may result in agitation and distress</a>. Stick to routine eating, bathing, and rest times where possible throughout the holiday period.</p> <p>For many people with dementia, long-term memories are less affected than <a href="https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/symptoms/memory-loss">more recent memories</a>. Familiar family traditions can therefore be a good way to <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/national/support-and-services/carers/therapies-and-communication-approaches">reminisce</a>. Family keepsakes or <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/sites/default/files/20110303-NSW-LifeHistoryBook.pdf">memory books</a> can also help connect with stories from past celebrations.</p> <h2>3. Have a quiet space</h2> <p>Try to have <a href="https://www.scie.org.uk/dementia/supporting-people-with-dementia/dementia-friendly-environments/noise.asp">a quiet place</a> where the person living with dementia can go if things become overwhelming. Designating a support person who can stay with them throughout the day and take them to a separate room or area away from the action can help to keep things calm.</p> <p>Having some familiar objects or <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5432607/#:%7E:text=Passive%20music%20listening%20is%20reported,et%20al.%2C%202013">quiet music</a> in the space can be a good way to block out the noise of activities and reduce agitation.</p> <h2>4. Make sure everyone has a part</h2> <p>Everyone wants to feel a part of the activities on a special day, including people living with dementia. Ensuring everyone has a role to play may mean modifying tasks to suit the abilities of the person with dementia.</p> <p>For example, if you’re hosting an event at home, try to get your friend or relative with dementia involved in the kitchen by tossing the salad or helping to set the table.</p> <p>People with dementia are still the same person, even if their abilities have changed or they can no longer communicate their needs and feelings like they used to. It’s important to treat everyone with dignity and try to include your friends and loved ones with dementia in celebrations whenever possible.</p> <h2>Sometimes, you can’t be together</h2> <p>Despite the best laid plans, sometimes it won’t be possible to share in festive celebrations with your loved one living with dementia. More advanced dementia, <a href="https://www.health.nsw.gov.au/Infectious/covid-19/Pages/racf-latest-advice.aspx">aged care visitor restrictions</a> or even just distance can keep many of us apart from our loved ones.</p> <p>Be prepared for this separation to bring up your own feelings of <a href="https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/caregiver-health/grief-loss-as-alzheimers-progresses">grief or sadness</a>. Look after your mental health as well as the person with dementia.</p> <p>Caring responsibilities still largely <a href="https://www.pmc.gov.au/sites/default/files/resource/download/national-strategy-gender-equality-discussion-paper_0.pdf">fall to women</a> and it’s important to share the load. Where possible, the holidays can be a good time to think about giving primary carers a break to help them recharge for the year ahead.</p> <p>If you’re caring for someone with dementia and need support, <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/support">Dementia Australia</a> or <a href="https://www.carergateway.gov.au/about?utm_source=google&amp;utm_medium=paid-search&amp;utm_campaign=10841470526&amp;utm_adgroup=146956908840&amp;utm_term=&amp;gclid=CjwKCAjw9-6oBhBaEiwAHv1QvI1uJVJRppcDJtdgYNTDeObUk1tyrNUtLGBqpp3ytjb_khYkGExICBoC_5EQAvD_BwE">Carer Gateway</a> offer useful resources.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/214944/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nikki-anne-wilson-342631"><em>Nikki-Anne Wilson</em></a><em>, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Neuroscience Research Australia (NeuRA), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image </em><em>credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/4-tips-to-help-your-loved-one-with-dementia-enjoy-the-festive-season-214944">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

Do dogs actually watch TV?

<p><strong>Doggy mysteries </strong></p> <p>Have you ever been cuddled on the couch with your dog and noticed him fixate on something on the TV? Maybe it’s another dog, a bird, or some other animal, or just some action taking place in your favourite TV show or movie. It sure looks like your pup is watching TV, but is it your imagination?</p> <p>We know that dogs experience colour and light differently than humans do, so their eyes don’t see things the same way. So, do dogs watch TV? It’s one of those <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/food-home-garden/pets/decode-your-dogs-behaviour-17-dog-behaviours-explained" target="_blank" rel="noopener">questions about weird dog behaviour</a> that pet lovers are always curious about, so we asked pet experts to weigh in.</p> <p><strong>Do dogs watch TV?</strong></p> <p>The answer is basically a yes. Dr Cherice Roth, Chief Veterinary Officer with the pet health care company Fuzzy, confirms that your pup’s apparent TV-watching habits are indeed the real thing. “Some dogs do watch TV!” says Dr Roth, adding that dogs can actually become engrossed by what’s on the tube.</p> <p>“Much like with humans, [a dog’s interest will vary] based on their attention span and attention to motion.” Plus, depending on how high the volume is, they’ll also react to sounds on the TV – especially anything that sounds like their favourite squeaky dog toy – and may be fixated on that as much as the action on the screen. </p> <p><strong>Is it OK for dogs to watch TV?</strong></p> <p>Just because dogs can watch TV, does it mean they should? Dr Albert Ahn, a veterinary advisor with Myos Pet, offers a qualified yes. “Many owners leave the television on to provide their dogs with a distraction while they leave for work or run errands,” he says, adding that TV can be a helpful tool to help reduce feelings of mild separation anxiety.</p> <p>However, Dr Ahn cautions that TV should not be used as a replacement for real owner-pet interaction. “Dogs are social animals,” he explains, “and they need interactions with their pet parents, as well as appropriate amounts of daily exercise.” So unlike your moody teen, who may be more interested in a smartphone than in your company, your dog always wants to hang out with you, whether that means going for a walk, playing a game of fetch, or just chilling on the couch at your side.</p> <p>Dr Roth highlights another potential issue: Some commercials or programming may emit sounds that are distressing to dogs. Typically, bothersome noises for dogs include explosions, gunshots, sirens and crying, and TV sounds that are loud to us are even louder for dogs, thanks to their more sensitive ears – and sounds that are barely perceptible to us might really bother them. So if you’re leaving the TV on when you’re not at home, it’s a good idea to keep the volume low.</p> <p><strong>What does TV look like to dogs?</strong></p> <p>When it comes to watching TV, humans have a distinct advantage over dogs, mostly because we can see colour, and dogs see only a very limited colour range (though they do see in the dark better than we do). “It’s hard to say exactly what [TV] looks like for a dog,” says Dr Ahn. “However, it is generally believed that because of the composition of the cones in the retina, dogs probably are only able to see two specific colours – blue and yellow.”</p> <p>Dr Roth agrees, noting that most dogs can see the movement of images and appreciate the sound, but they’re likely not able to interpret changes in colours. So if you’re looking for the right channel to entertain your pooch, live-action programs with noisy animals will probably interest them more than, say, a colourful cartoon like The Lion King.</p> <p><strong>Do dogs know that TV isn't real?</strong></p> <p>So we’ve answered the question of “Do dogs watch TV?” But what about their perception of TV? Do they understand that there’s not a “real” dog or cat romping on the 2D screen, or do they think it’s the real thing? “We have not been able to establish that pets can distinguish real versus fantasy,” says Dr Roth. The only one who knows for certain is the dog himself, and he’s not telling.</p> <p>Dr Ahn agrees that it’s hard to know exactly what dogs think about television and whether it’s real or not. “But,” he says, “one might deduce that over time, dogs are at least able to sense that there is limited (one-way) interactivity with a television.”</p> <p><strong>Why do some dogs watch TV and others don't?</strong></p> <p>Why does your best friend like action movies while you prefer to binge-watch Bridgerton? Because just like dogs, we all have different tastes and interests – though dogs’ interest in TV may have something to do with their breed. Dr Roth says this mostly comes down to attention span and personality. Dogs with a strong prey drive (think Dobermans and other dogs that like to chase cats) “are sensitive to small environmental movements and are more likely to react to the movement on TV. Calm dog breeds,” she adds, citing Golden Retrievers as an example, “are less likely to be reactive and have their attention captivated by the TV.”</p> <p>Dr Ahn notes that the type of programming may also play a role in the dog’s level of interest. “For example,” he says, “a 24-hour news channel may be less stimulating to a dog compared with a channel that is broadcasting a dog show.”</p> <p><strong>Should you leave the TV on for your dog when you're not home?</strong></p> <p>According to our veterinary experts, it depends. When you’re away from home, TV can be a useful way to keep your dog entertained and keep them from getting bored or getting up to mischief when you’re not around, as well as lessen separation anxiety. “There are several music video stations that can be really great to keep a pet’s environment friendly,” says Dr Roth. But if the channel plays a variety of content all day, she says there’s always a chance that something distressing to your pet might come on. “I’ve seen pets jump into TVs because they’re chasing something on a screen. Find out what your pet likes and keep to those channels.”</p> <p>And again, as Dr Ahn has noted, the television shouldn’t be used as a replacement for the quality bonding time your dog needs with you. That said, if you want to connect with your pup when you’re away, you can set up Skype to answer calls automatically and “talk” to your dog via video call, or use the Barkio app to leave soothing messages for your dog. Just remember: This can be a comfort to some pets, but potentially a stressor to others who might get confused that their human magically appears onscreen and then disappears. And watch out – if your dog figures out how to call you at work, things could get a little awkward during your next staff meeting!</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/food-home-garden/pets/do-dogs-actually-watch-tv" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

"It feels liberating": Nat Bass' surprising update on her love life post-divorce

<p>After months of trying to keep her divorce private, Natalie Bassingthwaighte has spoken out about her marriage breakdown, and finding love with a woman. </p> <p>Earlier this year, the Australian singer parted ways with her second husband, and longtime Rogue Traders bandmate, Cameron McGlinchey, although the pair never addressed the split personally. </p> <p>Now, three months on, Nat Bass has bared all in a candid interview with <em>Stellar</em> magazine, sharing why she chose to stay silent on her divorce, and how "overwhelming" it was when the press finally found out. </p> <p>“[I got a] phone call; I’d been waiting for it to happen, but [was] trying to protect our inner sanctum for so long, trying to navigate grief and really sit in it and feel it all. It hurts, trying to navigate what the next bits look like, especially as a couple who have two children, who work together,” she said. </p> <p>“So having public interest, I won’t lie, was terrifying from the get-go. Since it first happened, I was waiting for someone to say something. And it just felt like I wasn’t ready."</p> <p>Despite going their separate ways after 12 years of marriage, Nat says she doesn't look at her divorce as a failure, given all the love she still has for her ex-husband.</p> <p>“We had a very successful marriage. It was very beautiful. We’ve done amazing things together, achieved a lot and have two incredible children. We admire and respect each other, and there’s love there. It’s just different,” she said. </p> <p>After her divorce, Nat is moving on and finding love in unexpected places: with a woman. </p> <p>Bassingthwaighte said her “beautiful” new relationship “with a woman who makes my heart smile and makes me happy” has been difficult to navigate in the public eye, as she has yet to publicly identify her new partner. </p> <p>Struggling with revealing her same-sex relationship to the world, Nat called her ex-husband for advice. </p> <p>“I rang Cam and I was hysterical. And he said, ‘It’s OK. This is your truth and you now have to sit in it and stand in it and own it.’ So to have that support from him has been nothing short of beautiful, and I’m very grateful for it,” she says.</p> <p>“Now I can speak from my own mouth, on my own truth, and that feels rewarding. I’m OK. Everything is OK, and everyone is OK. We’re in a good space. It feels liberating."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram / Stellar </em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

"A forever love": Johnny Ruffo's girlfriend shares heartfelt tribute

<p>Tahnee Sims has shared a heartfelt tribute to her late boyfriend, <em>Home and Away</em> star Johnny Ruffo just nine days after his <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/beautiful-soul-johnny-ruffo-passes-away-at-35" target="_blank" rel="noopener">passing</a>. </p> <p>Ruffo died earlier this month at just 35-years-old after a long battler with brain cancer. </p> <p>Sims took to Instagram to share an emotional video tribute to Ruffo, with clips of the sweet moments they shared together with the song <em>Always Remember Us This Way </em>from the film <em>A Star is Born</em>.</p> <p>"A forever love," she captioned the video, with a broken heart emoji. </p> <p>Sims shared a few clips of the couple throughout the years, including walking on the beach, playing in snow, and a few everyday moments like Ruffo dancing in the living room and them having dinner together. </p> <p>The couple first met at a dance studio in 2015, before Ruffo was diagnosed with brain cancer two years later, and underwent surgery to remove the tumour. </p> <p>In 2020 he revealed that his cancer was in remission and a few years later confirmed it was terminal. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cz0nnyLRMEp/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cz0nnyLRMEp/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Tahnee Sims (@tahneesims)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Many fans and friends took to the comments to share their condolences for Sims. </p> <p>"Darling…. I can’t imagine what you are going through. In our thoughts and prayers," wrote <em>Home and Away</em> actress Lynne McGranger. </p> <p>"Cannot wait to give you the biggest hug . We all loved Johnny so much but he was your honey and your soul mate and we ache for you," she added with a love heart emojis. </p> <p>"Oh Lynnie, I thought of you as soon as I heard the news. Lots of love to you xxxx," added Aussie actress Sam Frost.</p> <p>"My heart is shattered for you 😔 What a beautiful love you both shared and how lucky you both were to have found one another," one fan commented. </p> <p>"Johnny was so lucky to have you in his life, the love and support you give him will never be forgotten he will be watching over you as ur guardian angel,"  another added. </p> <p>"Sending you so much love and strength beautiful Tahnee! Johnny will forever live on through your heart," commented a third. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

Love conquers critics as Vikki Campion hits back at "unkind" comments on wedding to Barnaby Joyce

<p>Love triumphed over adversity last weekend as Vikki Campion, former staffer and <em>Saturday Telegraph</em> columnist, <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/barnaby-joyce-and-vikki-campion-tie-the-knot-in-bush-bash-wedding" target="_blank" rel="noopener">celebrated her wedding</a> to high-profile Nationals MP Barnaby Joyce at his family's property in Woolbrook, NSW. Despite the picturesque setting and the couple's genuine joy, the event faced criticism and name-calling, prompting Campion to address the detractors in a powerful statement.</p> <p>In her <a href="https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/opinion/vikki-campion-my-perfect-wedding-and-the-barnaby-joyce-that-i-know-and-love/news-story/5ed16bef0795a10e2e0859cc161f5cbf" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Saturday Telegraph</em></a> column entitled "My perfect wedding and the Barnaby Joyce that I know and love"<span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">, Campion dismissed the negative comments, saying, "</span>In the country, they say one man’s trash is another’s treasure. Well, I found mine ... <span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Call it trash all you like. It will always be perfect to us." </span></p> <p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">She remained resilient in the face of harsh judgments, emphasising that the unkind remarks had no impact on her or her husband. Instead, she focused on the love they shared, the friends who supported them, and the unique lifestyle they embraced.</span></p> <p>Campion took the opportunity to highlight the real treasure of the event: the local community. In her exclusive op-ed, she expressed gratitude for the diverse group of people who came together to make the celebration unforgettable. The wedding, she explained, brought together individuals from different backgrounds and walks of life, transcending cultural, political and socioeconomic boundaries.</p> <p>The imagery of the event painted a vivid picture of a true "bush bash," complete with Akubras, ciggies, beer and rum. The celebration, described as a return to "country style," featured over 80 guests who arrived in 4WDs, reflecting the down-to-earth atmosphere that defined the day.</p> <p>The pink and ivory-themed wedding showcased Campion in a strapless cream tulle dress with a long train, complemented by gold earrings and heeled black cowboy boots. Despite the criticism, pictures captured the couple's genuine happiness as they mingled with guests, five years after their relationship first became public.</p> <p>The wedding also marked a reunion with Joyce's young sons, Thomas and Sebastian, aged four and five, while his four adult daughters were notably absent. The absence of Joyce's adult daughters <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/i-ve-moved-on-barnaby-joyce-s-former-wife-speaks-out-after-media-circus-wedding" target="_blank" rel="noopener">stirred earlier controversies</a>, adding another layer to the media scrutiny surrounding the event.</p> <p>Despite the tumultuous journey that led to this moment – Joyce's resignation as deputy prime minister and Nationals leader following the exposure of their relationship – the couple's commitment to each other remained unshaken. The ceremony took place at a location with special meaning to Joyce, creating a touching and sentimental atmosphere.</p> <p>The wedding's inclusive nature, with guests from various backgrounds and perspectives, symbolised the couple's ability to transcend the public scrutiny that had surrounded them. Campion's response to critics showcased her resilience and determination to focus on the positives, celebrating the love that brought them together.</p> <p>As Vikki Campion and Barnaby Joyce embark on this new chapter of their lives, they do so with the unwavering belief that their wedding, labelled "trash" by some, will forever be perfect in their hearts. Love prevailed over judgment, and the couple's ability to rise above the criticism serves as a testament to the strength of their bond.</p> <p><em>Images: Office of the Deputy Prime Minister / Instagram</em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Gordon Ramsay welcomes another "bundle of love"

<p>Gordon Ramsay is a father-of-six!</p> <p>The 57-year-old celebrity chef took to Instagram to announce the heartwarming news that his wife Tana, 49, had given birth to an adorable baby boy. </p> <p>"What an amazing birthday present please welcome Jesse James Ramsay, 7lbs 10oz whopper!!" he captioned the photo of him kissing his newborn on the head, while his wife cradled him in her arms. </p> <p>"One more bundle of love to the Ramsay brigade!! 3 boys, 3 girls…. Done," Ramsay added. </p> <p>In a few other photos, Tana is seen glowing with happiness as she held baby Jesse in her arms. </p> <p>Tana also took to Instagram to share that their family had been "blessed" with baby Jesse's arrival. </p> <p>"It's been a nerve wracking 9 months but we've made it and we have been blessed with this little bundle," she began. </p> <p>"Ramsay family definitely complete. Jesse James Ramsay we love you so much," she wrote with a red heart emoji. </p> <p>Gordon and Tana are already parents to five children: Megan, 25, twins Jack and Holly, 23, Tilly, 22, and Oscar, four.</p> <p>The pair, who have been married for 27 years, have kept their latest pregnancy a secret, following reports that Tana had wanted another child.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Czg4DJVRYX7/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Czg4DJVRYX7/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Gordon Ramsay (@gordongram)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The happy couple were flooded with congratulatory messages from celebrity friends and fans. </p> <p>"Wow congratulations guys what lovely news," wrote British TV presenter and model, Kirsty Gallacher.</p> <p>"Fantastic! Congratulations x," British actor and comedian Paddy McGuinnes wrote, while Sky Sports F1 reporter Natalie Pinkham added: "Completely wonderful ❤️🙌👏😍 huge congratulations ❤️"</p> <p>"You two amaze me! Congratulations ❤️" wrote one fan. </p> <p>"Great stuff congrats big man 👏❤️" added another. </p> <p>"Congratulations! What a beautiful gift 💙" added a third. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Family & Pets

Our Partners

Over 60

© Copyright 2024 OverSixty.All Rights Reserved.